The stars of XTux.

TUX	Linux mascot by trade, Tux also dabbles in herring eating and occasionally saving the world from evil monopolistic Redmond based software companies.
GOWN	The female equivalent of Tux. Named Gown, of course.
TIE	Tux's nephew. Awwww, isn't he cute!
BSD	The BSD Daemon, also known as "The Beastie". He usually spends his time complaining about "That damn penguin who has greater market share" or smugly smiling because his OS is more obscure and hence somehow superior. He lives for the day he can teach that cheeky young penguin a thing or two about a REAL Unix.
RMS	Bearded founder of the GNU project. This guy was coding free software when Tux was just a twinkle in Linus' eye.
LINUS	World domination and scantly clad women. Surely a cause worth fighting for.
SHADOWMAN	The mysterious Shadowman wears a red hat and has plenty of freshly burnt CD's to throw around.
GNOME	Building on the work of his friend Wilbur the Gimp, this little fellow has quite a disliking for a particular green dragon.
SUSE	Geeko the lizard is Europe's Godzilla.
GNU	The GNU, of the Emacs Hurd wanders around picking on peoples' naming conventions, which he doesn't pronounce correctly anyway, on account of his lisp.
VI	He's a radical rat! No hands off the home-row! :wq!
DUKE	Some think he's as slow as fsck, some think the Sun(tm) shines out of his a**
KDE	This QT little Dragon looks (and feels) like a particular desktop that almost everyone else here dislikes with a passion. Expect a flamewar.
BORG	I included this guy for Gerald Holmes. Perhaps he'll pull himself away from Space Cadet for a while to play some XTux.
TROLL	This guy is found under bridges muttering "Linux has no GUI" and is dangerously obsessed with Natalie Portman and grits. Trolls are inherently bad, but you Linux long-haired communists that sit around reading HOWTO's all day rather than getting any work done knew that already, didn't you?
FLAMER	Often falling victim to clever Trolls, this guy tends to fire first and think later, if at all.
BUG	A product of Microsoft corporation. Usually comes free (as in beer) and terminally integrated with most of their software. Bugs are just one more thing which Microsoft has a near monopoly on.
MSCP	A MicroSoft Certified Peon. Swapped his soul and a large certification fee for instructions on how to think.
ZOMBIE	Braaaaiinnnnssss.....
COBOL	A hideous, hideous monster. Disgusting to look at, this beast will rot your mind and wear down your fingers from over-typing. Take weapon and point at COBOL. Pull trigger spawning bullet, adding bullet to COBOL storing in COBOL. Indent this you prick!
CLIPPY	This robotic creature has two settings, "Evil Killing Machine" and "F%$#cking annoying". Fortunately, the paperclips you will see in XTux are stuck in Evil mode.
BUNNY	Cute little furry wabbit. You shouldn't kill these unless they attack first. "AHH! HE'S COMING RIGHT FOR ME!!!"
CD	Fresh and piping hot from the CD burner, CD's are plentiful but somewhat weak weapons.
FIREBALL	May hot flaming death come quickly to your enemies.
ROCKET_SMALL	Self-guiding rocket propelled explosive. From my computer game experience, people just leave these things lying around all over the place.
CAN	Refreshing caffeine suspended in a cola solution. Gives +15 health.
DEWCAN	Hill Precipitate. Twice the caffeine of regular softdrink. Gives +30 health.
NODOZE	Staple of truckers and students, this chemical slap in the face will keep you awake long past when it's good for you. Restores full health.
BADCAN	Teams of mad scientists toiled for years in search of the holy grail of evil overlords, caffeine free cola. Consuming this toxin will cause you to lose 15 health.
RANDOM_POWERUP	Give a random powerup.
TIGHTARSE	Each shot you fire while powered up has a 50% chance that it will not use any ammunition. It's like all of your Tuesdays have come at once!
BITROT	This powerup will cause a slow decay of your bits, which is even more painful than it sounds.
SMP	Temporary system patch to allow Symmetrical Multiprocessor Support, which doubles firing rate.
FIREWALL	Installs a temporary firewall which absorbs 50% of damage.
INVISIBLE	This powerup causes your character to become invisible to other players and monsters. However, the technology still has a few bugs, one of which is visible smoke trails while moving.
NATALIE	Beware her seductive looks. Close contact with Natalie Portman is a known cause of petrification.
E	Picking up an E (for Enlightenment) will allow you to move with a 50% speed bonus, but beware. What goes up, must come down.
PATENT	This causes a court to put a temporary injunction on use of devices that fall under contested patent 65535 (a device by which a party blows away a second party). You are thus unable to use any of your weapons except your default.
CHAINGUN	The Chaingun uses the gatling gun principle of rotating barrels. It's a destructive killing machine that will clear the room. However, it has a healthy appetite for ammunition.
SHOTGUN	A twelve gauge double barreled Remington, S-Mart's top-of-the-line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock cobalt blue steel and a hair trigger. That's right. Shop Smart. Shop S-mart.
BAZOOKA	Shoulder mounted rocket launcher. Rockets do not home in on the shooter, but they can still do them damage.
RAILGUN	The Railgun. Fires a depleted uranium pellet which stops for nothing short of a solid wall. This includes whatever is standing in it's path.
SNIPER	Sniper Rifle. Deadly when it hits, but very slow to reload.
EGUN	The E-Gun. Fires a powerful electric beam but hampered by short range and high ammunition usage.